The Paradox of Worth

"Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have. "

-Thomas Edison

The Paradox of Worth

Perception and Declaring Independence from It

Worth: the word in which most things importance in the world is based off of. And yet, while it a word that carried a heavy connotation, it also carries a high degree of bias. To one person, what is worth a lot may mean nothing to someone else.  But when we take a step back and look at things in their relative contexts, we never see things as the same. When it comes to looking at human life itself, it is a downfall that we as a species have when we look at ourselves as a commodity rather than a member of the same genetic pool.

We look at others and base our social interactions around them based on their perceived worth that they are expected to have in their lives. As long as they are seen as useful, they will be kept around for their intended purpose. Whether if it is to entertain us; support us; provide for us; or even love us - we keep them around. But what happens when their worth runs it's course? We as humans tend to discard of the person like an old outfit or old food and leave them to either decay or move along to the next person to take advantage of them. Speaking from personal experience, there have been many times where others have failed to see me as worth an investment. Once my worth in their mind has ran it's course, they do one of two things. The first is that they find a way to take all of the remaining percieved worth that I have and toss me away to my own devices. The second thing is that they replace me with someone else who is seen as worth the investment.

This pattern goes on everywhere, but it seems that one thing that is really interesting is that we often fail to take notice in who really has worth. Now while I love Kim Kardashian (she's fabulous and so is her family), we glorify a lack of technical skills and the ability to visually entice others. Aside from that, financial wealth and the idea of "what can you do for me?" also is what everyone in society seems to value. On the flip side, it seems at times that the days were having intellect, a skill, being philosophically sound, and having a giving and caring personality have disappeared. Now people who have these traits typically are seen as easy to exploit and take advantage of. Why?, because they hold traits that others find to be a sign of weakness. In the western context, most people are individualistic and are subject to a organic solidarity that keeps looking out for themselves. 

So then what happens to the people who have been exploited?

Those who have been exploited typically find themselves in repeating cycles of use (they have worth at that point), exploitation (the other person sees their worth is limited), and abandonment (their perceived worth is exhausted). They tend to be in cycles where their self-esteem and self-efficacy can be left in tatters or damaged and in the most extreme cases either be left with a depressive sense of hopelessness and feeling like they aren't worth anything. Commonly, when those who are exploited ask "is it me or them?", they pick themselves. 

Now my message to those who are subject to this and feel that they have limited worth:

• Your worth is not dependent upon someone else.

Would you ever let someone put a price tag on you? If the answer is no and the question sounds silly this is what happens when you let your worth be dependent on those around you. One of the beautiful things about living in an individualistic society is that you can chart your own course. So you have to sometimes be independent of the person to demonstrate to them that even without them you can do for yourself and that you have the fortitude to make things happen on your own with your personality and skills. 

• It is a flaw in the system of society, not you.

If you've ever asked: "Is it me or them?", just know that it isn't you firstly. The second thing is realize that the other person in the situation aside from yourself is more than likely has the mindset of someone from a objectifying utilitarian society (hence, they are a product of their environment). And lastly, society has an inherent flaw within it that does not view humans as humans but as something else (whether it be a source of income, a worker population, human capital... etc.). Do not self blame, instead use your human born right of creating your own identity and worth on your own terms and self-determine who you are.

• Worth regarding people cannot be accurately measured.

If someone is reading this and they think that dollars and cents, or the house they own, or the car they drive is an indicator of what your worth is, you're sorely mistaken. If you die, you can't take it with you and it is a material possession. The type of worth that a human has on it's own is immeasurable and in every instance in human history where they have tried to place a price on it (New World Slavery for example),  they have failed to enumerate. Just know that because your worth cannot be measured by a standardized system, you have to decide for yourself and if you think that you are worth a million dollars it is your responsibility to feel that way and be that way and love yourself that way.

• Liberate yourself to find your worth to yourself

You have to free yourself from the other person. As said in the first point, you have to find time to separate yourself from the other person in order to determine your worth because if you let others do it for you they are going to sell you short every time. When you liberate yourself, you can decide by yourself what you think you are to the world and what your contributions are. Not only will you be able to operate freely, but the clouded notion of your worth will clear up quickly when you don't have someone polluting your mind re-iterating that "in order to be worth something to me, you have to have something to offer" or "in order to be around me, you have to prove to me what you are worth my time".  Do you and enjoy your life on your own terms and bring people around you who are co-constructive (meaning you build each other up and are not caught on labels". Once you've done this, you're well on your way to escaping the Paradox of Worth.

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