To Be Black, To Be a Man, To Be Gay - Part 4

Logic will never change emotion or perception.

-Edward De Bono

To Be Black, To Be a Man, To Be Gay - Part 4

The Perceptions: Standards and Its Effects

            When it comes to Black men who are gay, the societal standard is a bit more stringent. Adherence to a certain way of speaking, walking, and mannerisms secures the perception of masculinity. As a result, the adherence makes you a comfortable medium for everyone.

This set of expectations has played out to change the playing field of sexual and companionate relationships of Black people in general as it has not only affected men but women too.  Black women are affected by the expectations that society has set out for Black gay men because they now feel that masculine gay men seek to deceive and see gay men in general as a reason for the proliferation of HIV/AIDs in the Black community and dissolution of family structure. However, with effeminate black men they see them as the sources of culture where they derive fashion and slang. Additionally, older generations of Black women see black gay men as compounding failure of fathering and feminization of the family nucleus occurring since the 1970s.  Now  a good number of Black women sometimes make the statement that they want a main who is “not in jail, educated, god-fearing and straight “in their list of preferences for a mate.

The standard of men being the cornerstone of the families and strong has also lead to hypermasculination. Present in hip-hop culture, a men’s prowess is linked directly to sexuality and the ability to abide by to the standards of masculinity. In contrast to the Eurocentric models, African American standards of masculinity are much more tightly constrained, leading men to be on the “downlow” or sexually engaging women while discreetly having sexual interaction with men. Men on the “downlow”want to retain their ability to be seen as men and behave to please themselves privately while adhering to societal standards publicly.

This adherence to the rigid masculinity standard has caused there to be an attitude with many black men that lead them to feel that to be effeminate is akin to losing your manhood. For homosexual black men who are feminine presenting, they commonly face public alienation from their  masculine presenting counterparts. Sexually speaking, the need to remain discreet and/or the attraction to masculine partners leaves many feminine presenting males competing to find their place in causal sexual encounters or within companionate relationships that are productive.

Conclusion:

            In the end, the standards of society has played a huge role as to how Black gay men are able to self-determine individually and find their place in the world. While the division of masculine and feminine has driven a wedge in to dating practices of gay men and contributed to affect women in the African American community. While standards are changing across the world in every culture regarding masculinity to be open and accepting to variances, Black culture has been slower to change due to underlying cultural signposts rooted in a historical context.