To Be Black, To Be a Man, To Be Gay - Part 3

"If every femme gay black guy were trade,

 then we would be three things:

 highly discreet, 

highly compliant,

and outside our truths." 

- Anonymous

To Be Black, To Be a Man, To Be Gay - Part 2

The Misunderstood: Feminine Presentation

            Feminine presentation by men is something that is not new and to the core of the statement, every man does (in essence) have a feminine side. On the other side  of the coin of the hyper-masculine ideals of  many Black gay men, exists the place of feminine men. These men wear whatever they want to wear, speak freely and are the purveyors of fashion and creative language. In doing this, this is born out a fearless mentality that many feminine presenting men take. For white feminine presenting men, the risk they take is great because in the general society, they are frowned upon. But Black gay men who are feminine presenting, they are bane of existence to many. For general society, they violate the rules and maxims set out for gender role adherence. For the African American culture, they violate the even more stringent roles that Black men are supposed to hold and the vision they are supposed to embody. For Black women, they serve as either a vehicle of disgust and are determined as a failure of the black male presence in a family or seen as a caricature. While for Black Men, they see them as trading in their manhood or  “man card” to appear similar to a woman.

           

For Black gay men who are masculine, some share the sentiments of their heterosexual counterparts. Others share no viewpoint, while a minority feels that it doesn’t matter. The majority of gay black men view effeminate men as a caricature. Also feel that their presentation of femininity makes them less desirable at first glance because some of the prevailing attitudes is to find another man. Because some masculine presenting males don’t see feminine presenting males as men it causes many to find them as non-respectable.

            In creating this disrespect towards femininity it creates a divide. The division that is based on determining “the lesser of two evils”: the effeminate gay man and the masculine gay man. For masculine gay man, it is important to separate from the caricature and let the public know “I’m not like them”. For feminine gay men it is the need to make it be known that while they are feminine presenting they are still men. Additionally, when the concept of preferential treatment is within society, it is more acceptable to be in compliance with the gender norm than a norm of sexuality. In clearer illustration, in mainstream society it is said that it is okay to be masculine gay male before being feminine.